The Christmas Season

It’s Christmas time, right? So that means lots of love and family and service and charity. It’s that time of year we all magically become selfless and become the way we “should be.” I love Christmas. Please don’t mistake my tone for complete pessimism; I just can’t help but think about how the tradition of Christmas (despite its over-commercialization) is that one time of year when we all forget our usual selves and become…something different. We all become a little nicer. We all become a little more loving. We all become a little more selfless.

I think it’s wonderful. I think it’s incredible to see a whole community come together for a common purpose. But it’s after Christmas that I really wonder about. After all the presents are opened and the sugar-comas have passed, we kick our extended families out of our homes, make our never-to-be-fulfilled New Year’s Resolutions, and “begin anew” the incoming year. We do this all in hopes of starting with a clean slate and of finally get back to our lives. We go back to school and work and think, “Well, that was a nice holiday season.”

And that’s it. Christmas is over, and it’s about 50 weeks until the next one.

I believe that Christmas is more than that, as I am sure most of you believe as well. But we (me included) get stuck in this routine cycle where we move from one phase to the next in our lives. Get this one done so I can move on to the next. Even though we may feel the so-called Christmas Spirit, we stress ourselves out over buying the presents, sending out the Christmas cards, baking the holiday goods…and after all of that stress, we take a big sigh of relief once Christmas has finally ended. And yet, we immediately look forward to it the following year.

I propose we do as we have been instructed time and time again—to carry that Christmas Spirit with us the whole year through. Now, that’s not to say that we should have a decked-out pine tree in our living room year-round or that we should only fill our wardrobe with red and green. Rather, I mean that we should take those things that mean the most to us during the Christmas season—such as family and giving—and we should make it our goal to foster them the whole year through.

It’s a tacky notion, perhaps, and we’ve heard it a thousand times over…but that doesn’t make it any less significant. Rather than see the Christmas season as a phase of the year to pass through, see it as a learning opportunity—a time to practice selflessness and to improve our understanding of it.

We give and we give and we give all year round, but do we ever really enjoy our giving? Do we ever see the opportunity as a blessing rather than a burden? So this Christmas season, avoid trying to check everything off of your list and try, instead, to learn from what you experience.

Growth

This is just a thought I had late last night after writing in my journal:

I think that the Lord, in my trials, pushes me to my breaking point. But, right before I reach it, He gives me clear skies. The joy and happiness ALWAYS exceed the darkness and gloom. This is how we learn. This is how we grow.

Laugh It Off

So yesterday was a particularly interesting day. And when I say interesting, I mean less than wonderful. Many of my classmates and friends have been out with the infamous Swine Flu, and I was starting to feel some of the symptoms myself. I had a test I needed to take, two assignments I needed to finish (one of which by 5 p.m.), and I had no time to do any of it because I needed to go to work. On top of it, my mind was fried from the previous couple of days and I had no desire or energy to do any of it. I was having, what I like to call, a classic stress moment.

I’m not trying to complain, here. I’m in grad school juggling work, an acting gig on the side, an extra dance class, and a fiancé who lives an hour away…what else am I supposed to expect? Of course I’m going to have a packed schedule and be stressed! My point is that yesterday, the walls seemed to be caving in…not the best day.

So what happened next only made it worse. I went to the testing center and took the test. After handing it in, I was walking down the stairs when I tripped. Luckily, I only fell down about two or three steps and caught myself with my left foot. However, my right ankle twisted in ways unnatural to the human body and I crumpled to the floor, complete with backpack on, dropping my phone and dance shoes. I was groaning in pain when two guys coming down the stairs behind me came to my rescue and tried to pull me up, but I didn’t have the voice to tell them that my ankle felt like it had been sawed off with a blunt spoon.

I managed to tell them what was wrong, but of course I couldn’t just get back up in a hurry without anyone noticing. Much to my self-conscious horror, I looked up and saw at least seven or eight people gathered on the stairs staring at my pathetic body lying on the floor and my teary face. Great. How embarrassing.

Once everyone but the two guys helping me left me to my shame, I put my game face on, played the “independent-I-can-handle-myself-tough-girl”, and got back up. I slowly applied pressure to my right ankle, declared it merely sprained, and was soon enough on the road again, limping all the way across campus to my car.

Now, I’m not usually one to tell specific personal experiences, so what’s my point to this long and ridiculous story? Well, when I was walking across campus with hints of tears still running down my face, I started laughing...hysterically.

I mean, picture it, here’s this girl who’s having a pretty awful day and to make matters worse, she trips down the stairs and sprains her ankle. How ironic! And what a funny thing to picture! Who trips down the stairs, anyway? And to think of what I must have looked like lying on the floor…and the gaggle of people gawking at me…classic. I have to be honest with myself—it was funny.

What I’m trying to say is that even when situations get pretty bleak and discouraging, we’re still in control of our attitude, and as the saying goes, “Attitude is everything.” So the next time something less than fortunate happens to you, ignore your inclination to groan and complain. Laugh. Laugh it off.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that my day yesterday was a bad day. Less than desirable? Absolutely. But not bad. You just have to look at it the right way. First of all, I’m ok. My ankle’s just sprained. And secondly, now I have a funny story to journal about. And what’s life without a few laughs?

Sometimes, You Just Have To Jump

I’ve talked a lot about choices and how life is full of them. Well, this is no different.

Life. It’s full of choices.

But one of the things I’ve learned recently is that sometimes you have to step a little out into the dark before the light comes. What I mean by that is sometimes we have to choose without the complete assurance that we’re making the right decision.

I think of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when Harrison Ford reaches the “leap of faith.” He has to step out off of a ledge, and it’s only after that he sees the platform. The same thing happens for some of the decisions in our lives, and usually the most important ones (which can be very frustrating).

So why is that? Well, in my opinion (and as I’ve alluded to in past entries) it’s not so much about whether we’re making the right decision, but that we’re making a right decision—we have to be proactive about the path our life is taking. If our fates were predetermined, then sure…we’d have to search for that one right decision. But a choice isn't about searching, it's about doing. We have been blessed with the gift of personal agency and thereby have become the masters of our own destinies. We make the decisions. We travel the paths. We create our own lives.

That’s not to say that we can’t have help or that we aren’t influenced by outside sources. But regardless, we’re here to choose and we have the ability to do it. What a wonderful thing!

But how terrifying, right? That lack of assurance when making a decision can paralyze us with fear (it does me, anyway). It would just be so nice and easy if the consequences of each decision was illuminated before us. However, that’s not how it works. It’s times like these when faith really needs to be applied. Faith in others. Faith in ourselves. Faith in God.

It’s now my opinion that sometimes, you just have to jump. Jump, and have faith that you’ll be able to handle the consequences that follow. Obviously, work out as much as you can—see as far into the darkness as your perspective will allow. But once you’ve done all you can do, don’t hold yourself back from progression with unnecessary fear. Instead, see the jump as an adventure and know that it’s usually you who turns a decision into the right one.

My Testimony

I love my Heavenly Father. I know He is there. I love my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. I know He lives. I know that the infinite sacrifice He performed was because of His love for me. I know that though I may struggle here on this earth, I am learning and growing so that one day I may return to my Father in Heaven and live for eternity with my family.

I know of the love that God has for His children—I have felt it and experienced it through the countless blessings of my life. I am so grateful to be alive, to have the life and the family I have, and to have the many experiences of my life. I am grateful for His light and the guidance He sends me endlessly. I am grateful for His love and the assurance that I am never alone.

Words cannot describe the things I have learned in my short life. I know that God created the earth. I know that before we came to this earth, we chose to follow Jesus Christ and we understood the plan He has for us. Now that we are here, we must come unto Him in humility and faith, and we will return to the presence of our Father. I know that true joy can be ours if we follow the plan.

I know that for those who have passed on, I will see them again. I know that with faith, there is nothing to fear. I know that our Father in Heaven has sent many messengers and prophets to help guide us. I know that even today, we have men on the earth who act as the mouthpiece of God. I have a testimony of Thomas S. Monson as the living prophet in our day, of his counselors Henry B. Eyring and Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and of the apostles.

I know the scriptures to contain the word of God. I know that if we read them with an open mind and heart, He will make manifest unto us the truth and reality of what they say.

I testify that these things are true. God lives, He loves us, and He wants us to return to Him. If you have not felt this, I urge you to pray and find out for yourself.

Learning from our Experiences

I should have posted this at least a few days ago, but here it is nonetheless. As a two-part entry, I first want to focus on the most recent Mormon message. If you haven’t already, please watch the video below and think about how the events of September 11, 2001 changed your life…



When I first watched this video, I was touched by the experience of this man and began thinking about how the Atonement is the key to making changes in our lives. In his book The Continuous Atonement, Brad Wilcox explains the redeeming power of the Lord’s sacrifice: “A redeemer is one who changes us for the better, one who reforms and reshapes us” (68).

When we came down to this earth, the plan was (and still is) for us to return to our Heavenly Father, which has been made possible by the Atonement. However, it is more than just covering up our sins; it is a means by which we may make the necessary changes to improve ourselves to become like God. This makes the Atonement about human development, not just cleansing. What good is repentance if a change of heart is not had?

In his book, Brad Wilcox also writes, “A friend once told me, ‘Look, I’m a good person even though I don’t go to church.’ I agreed, but gently reminded him that his goodness wasn’t in question. He had already proven that in the premortal existence. This life is about becoming better’” (71).

I want to share my testimony of the incredible and infinite sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ and how it can help us to not only find forgiveness for our sins, but can also help us to wake up each morning better than we were the day before. As divine children of God, we have that capability, and I know this life was given to us so that we may prove to ourselves of our potential. We are here to learn and to grow from those experiences that teach us, becoming better and more like our Father in Heaven.

Priorities

Wow. With everything that’s been going on, I feel like I’ve barely had time to breathe. I’ve been learning so many new things and had so many of those “ah ha!” epiphany moments, but I haven’t had the time to really document them. However, I received an email today from a friend and fellow grad student with a document attached that really helped me to calm my fears. The excerpt is from Elder Henry B. Eyring’s address Education for Real Life. Here’s a copy of the attachment—I promise it’s worth the read:


It is clear that putting spiritual learning first does not relieve us from learning secular things. On the contrary, it gives our secular learning purpose and motivates us to work harder at it. If we will keep spiritual learning in its proper place, we will have to make some hard choices of how we use our time. We generally know when papers will be due, when tests must be taken, when projects must be completed. And we know when the Sabbath will come. We know when the institute class will be held. We know when the prayers at the beginning of a day and those at the end should come. We know about how long it takes in reading the scriptures before we begin to feel the Holy Spirit. We know about how many hours it takes to prepare and to perform our service in the Church.

When we see life as it really is, we plan for a time and a place for all of those things. There will come crises when there does not seem to be enough time. There will be many instances when one thing crowds out another. But there should never be a conscious choice to let the spiritual become secondary as a pattern in our lives. Never. That will lead to tragedy.

Your life is carefully watched over, as was mine. The Lord knows both what He will need you to do and what you will need to know. He is kind and He is all-knowing. So, you can with confidence expect that He has prepared opportunities for you to learn in preparation for the service you will give. You will not recognize those opportunities perfectly, as I did not. But when you put the spiritual things first in your life, you will be blessed to feel directed toward certain learning and you will be motivated to work harder. You will recognize later that your power to serve was increased, and you will be grateful.

God Can Multiply the Effectiveness of Our Time

I realize that there are some, perhaps many, for whom my urging you to capture leisure time cuts like a knife. You feel overwhelmed by the lack of time. You have left unfinished tasks in your Church calling. You’ve carried your scriptures all day but still not found a moment to open them. There is someone in your family who would be blessed by your thoughtful attention, but you haven’t gotten to them yet. You will go to a job tomorrow that barely pays enough to keep food on your table and pay your bills. There is a term paper or a project due soon that you are yet to start and there are examinations looming. Rather than finding ways to capture leisure time for learning, you are trying to decide what to leave undone.

There is another way to look at your problem of crowded time. You can see it as an opportunity to test your faith. The Lord loves you and watches over you. He is all-powerful, and He promised you this: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33).

That is a true promise. When we put God’s purposes first, He will give us miracles. If we pray to know what He would have us do next, He will multiply the effects of what we do in such a way that time seems to be expanded. He may do it in different ways for each individual, but I know from long experience that He is faithful to His word.

I’ve seen that same miracle when there seemed not enough time for my family when they needed me. I had four young sons, a challenging new job, and then came a call from our bishop as the assistant Scoutmaster and the deacons quorum instructor. The Scouts camped out often, taking me from my boys, who were either older or younger than Scout ages. But I gave my heart to teaching and serving, trusting the Lord’s promise. I began to take one of my sons and then another with me on our outings. What seemed a call away from my obligations to my sons, with the Lord’s help, formed a bond with them that will last for eternity. I gave my heart to the Lord’s service in that deacons quorum; He gave me the hearts of my sons.

I cannot promise academic success or perfect families. Nor can I tell you the way in which He will honor His promise of adding blessings upon you. But I can promise you that if you will go to Him in prayer and ask what He would have you do next, promising that you will put His kingdom first, He will answer your prayer and He will keep His promise to add upon your head blessings, enough and to spare. Those apparent prison walls of "not enough time" will begin to recede, even as you are called to do more.

With everything I’ve had going on, I’ve literally had the feeling that I’m drowning…to the point where I’ve been questioning my decision to take on some of my current responsibilities. All the while, however, I’ve been constantly praying for the help to set my priorities straight and to focus on the things that matter most in this life.

As can be expected, I have a lot to work on. I don’t always get to “what matters most” as often as I should. But I know with a surety that if we place our priorities in the right order and place God and service for His kingdom first, He will help us with our endeavors and all else will fall into place.